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The best literature that you can give to your family members is the Yusuf Ali's translation of the Qur'an. If your Islamic center does not provide you with free Qur'ans, then you can obtain one from Islamic bookstores or from online stores, such as www.astrolabepictures.com. Or I can mail you one if you would like. In that case, please send me your address. Additionally, you can also give Islam In Focus, a small booklet that explains very well what Islam is. I can send this as well. No one can guide another person to Islam, for Guidance can come only from Allah. A Muslim's job is only to convey the message in the proper way. That can be done through good manner and behavior. If it is apparent to your family members that Islam has made you a better sister, or a better daughter, or a better wife, or a better neighbor, and overall a better person - not just in terms of doing physical worship of God but also in actual conduct and mannerism, then that will be a sign to many people around you. This is what happened to the family of Aminah Assilimi - you probably have read her story. A new Muslim should continue to be respectful to his (or her) parents since Islam puts a lot of emphasis on being good and humble to parents. The new Muslim should explains with patience and calmness what Islam is but he should avoid arguments with them and should not be critical of their religion. Intellectual debate is not discouraged, but that is fruitful only when the other person is open-minded and objective enough to carry on such a dialogue. Variations in Worship/Mosque Culture
Had you mentioned what are the things that you found your local Islamic center doing differently, I would have attempted to address those issues. Not knowing what these issues are, I can only make some general observations. If you find people worshipping slightly differently from one another, then it is ok. Some of these variations can actually be traced back to the Prophet (p) himself in the hadith literature. If the fundamentals are the same and if the ways of praying, for example, are in accord with the established schools of thought, then we should be open-minded enough to accept in our minds these slight variations. I must admit here that many of the mosques do not have good programs and activities that new comers to Islam can join and participate in so that they grow in their faith. Some new Muslims, particularly sisters, may even find some mosques to be not offering a very warm atmosphere. I hope that this will change over time. Many mosques are run by immigrants who sometimes bring with them cultural elements that are not necessarily Islamic. That will change gradually with educated people and more and more American converts getting involved with the mosques. So I would suggest not to be discouraged but remain engaged with your mosque and benefit from it as much as you can. Wise men pick up knowledge from wherever they can without being harmed. Another thing that I should mention in this respect is that one does not have to change his or her identity or personality just because of becoming a Muslim. What is meant by this is that one does not have to think differently and act differently after becoming Muslim. He should still be an "American" and believe in Islam as he is without having to go through a forceful metamorphosis. Basically, no matter where one is born, he is already born in Islam. By reverting back to Islam, one simply ceases to do anything that are contrary to the will of God. Learning Arabic is very good and it will one day help you to taste the Qur'an in its original language. However, whether in learning Arabic or learning Islam, I would suggest to all new Muslims not to overburden himself or herself but take it easy and slow. He/she should concentrate on performing the required obligations first and then gradually grow in other areas. Celebration of the Prophet's Birth date
I would agree with you that celebrating the Prophet's birth date is an innovation. The Prophet never performed his birth date, nor did his companions and the early generations. Muslims should go by the teachings of the Qur'an and the Sunnah, and should avoid things that were later innovated. At the same time, one should only point out this principle if the issue arises and refrain from getting into arguments over these matters. I should finally mention here one important thing. That is, unlike most religions Islam is not centered around the personality of a great individual or a hero (or an ethnic people) so that celebrating his birth date would be considered a part of the religion. Islam is about worshipping God and submitting to His will. We follow the Prophet's (p) teachings to know how best to act and behave so that we can be better Muslims, but he is no more than a messenger as the Qur'an reminds us. - Mushfiqur Rahman, 26 July 2002