A Christian Minister's Conversion to Islam
Weaving Different Threads into A Single Strand
"My personal values and sense of morality
were much more in keeping with my Muslim friends than with the
"Christian" society around me. ... my nostalgic yearning for the type of
community in which I had been raised was finding gratification in the
Muslim community. American society might be morally bankrupt, but that
did not appear to be the case for that part of the Muslim community with
which I had had contact. Marriages were stable, spouses were committed
to each other, and honesty, integrity, self-responsibility, and family
values were emphasized. My wife and I had attempted to live our lives
that same way, but for several years I had felt that we were doing so
in the context of a moral vacuum. The Muslim community appeared to be
different."
It was at this juncture that I began to come into
contact with the local Muslim community. For some years before, my wife and I had
been actively involved in doing research on the history of the Arabian horse.
Eventually, in order to secure translations of various Arabic documents, this
research brought us into contact with Arab Americans who happened to be Muslims.
Our first such contact was with Jamal in the summer of 1991.
After an initial telephone conversation, Jamal visited our home, and offered to do
some translations for us, and to help guide us through the history of the Arabian
horse in the Middle East. Before Jamal left that afternoon, he asked if he might:
use our bathroom to wash before saying his scheduled prayers; and borrow a piece of
newspaper to use as a prayer rug, so he could say his scheduled prayers before
leaving our house. We, of course, obliged, but wondered if there was something
more appropriate that we could give him to use than a newspaper. Without our ever
realizing it at the time, Jamal was practicing a very beautiful form of Dawa
(preaching or exhortation). He made no comment about the fact that we were not
Muslims, and he didn’t preach anything to us about his religious beliefs. He
“merely” presented us with his example, an example that spoke volumes, if one
were willing to be receptive to the lesson.
Over the next 16 months, contact with Jamal slowly increased in frequency, until it
was occurring on a biweekly to weekly basis. During these visits, Jamal never
preached to me about Islam, never questioned me about my own religious beliefs or
convictions, and never verbally suggested that I become a Muslim. However, I was
beginning to learn a lot. First, there was the constant behavioral example of Jamal
observing his scheduled prayers. Second, there was the behavioral example of how
Jamal conducted his daily life in a highly moral and ethical manner, both in his
business world and in his social world. Third, there was the behavioral example of
how Jamal interacted with his two children. For my wife, Jamal’s wife provided a
similar example. Fourth, always within the framework of helping me to understand
Arabian horse history in the Middle East, Jamal began to share with me: 1)
stories from Arab and Islamic history; 2) sayings of the Prophet Muhammad, peace be
upon him; and 3) Qur’anic verses and their contextual meaning. In point of fact,
our every visit now included at least a 30 minute conversation centered on some
aspect of Islam, but always presented in terms of helping me intellectually
understand the Islamic context of Arabian horse history. I was never told “this is
the way things are”, I was merely told “this is what Muslims typically believe”.
Since I wasn’t being “preached to”, and since Jamal never inquired as to my own
beliefs, I didn’t need to bother attempting to justify my own position. It was
all handled as an intellectual exercise, not as proselytizing.
Gradually, Jamal began to introduce us to other Arab families in the local Muslim
community. There was Wa’el and his family, Khalid and his family, and a few
others. Consistently, I observed individuals and families who were living their
lives on a much higher ethical plane than the American society in which we were
all embedded. Maybe there was something to the practice of Islam that I had missed
during my collegiate and seminary days.
By December, 1992, I was beginning to ask myself some serious questions about where
I was and what I was doing. These questions were prompted by the following
considerations. 1) Over the course of the prior 16 months, our social life had
become increasingly centered on the Arab component of the local Muslim community.
By December, probably 75% of our social life was being spent with Arab Muslims. 2)
By virtue of my seminary training and education, I knew how badly the Bible had been
corrupted (and often knew exactly when, where, and why), I had no belief in any
triune godhead, and I had no belief in anything more than a metaphorical “sonship”
of Jesus, peace be upon him. In short, while I certainly believed in God, I was as
strict a monotheist as my Muslim friends. 3) My personal values and sense of
morality were much more in keeping with my Muslim friends than with the “Christian”
society around me. After all, I had the non-confrontational examples of Jamal,
Khalid, and Wa’el as illustrations. In short, my nostalgic yearning for the type of
community in which I had been raised was finding gratification in the Muslim
community. American society might be morally bankrupt, but that did not appear to
be the case for that part of the Muslim community with which I had had contact.
Marriages were stable, spouses were committed to each other, and honesty, integrity,
self-responsibility, and family values were emphasized. My wife and I had attempted
to live our lives that same way, but for several years I had felt that we were
doing so in the context of a moral vacuum. The Muslim community appeared to be
different.
The different threads were being woven together into a single strand. Arabian
horses, my childhood upbringing, my foray into the Christian ministry and my
seminary education, my nostalgic yearnings for a moral society, and my contact
with the Muslim community were becoming intricately intertwined. My
self-questioning came to a head when I finally got around to asking myself exactly
what separated me from the beliefs of my Muslim friends. I suppose that I could
have raised that question with Jamal or with Khalid, but I wasn’t ready to take that
step. I had never discussed my own religious beliefs with them, and I didn’t think
that I wanted to introduce that topic of conversation into our friendship. As such,
I began to pull off the bookshelf all the books on Islam that I had acquired in my
collegiate and seminary days. However far my own beliefs were from the traditional
position of the church, and however seldom I actually attended church, I still
identified myself as being a Christian, and so I turned to the works of Western
scholars. That month of December, I read half a dozen or so books on Islam by
Western scholars, including one biography of the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon
him. Further, I began to read two different English translations of the meaning
of the Qur’an. I never spoke to my Muslim friends about this personal quest of
self-discovery. I never mentioned what types of books I was reading, nor ever spoke
about why I was reading these books. However, occasionally I would run a very
circumscribed question past one of them.
While I never spoke to my Muslim friends about those books, my wife and I had
numerous conversations about what I was reading. By the last week of December of
1992, I was forced to admit to myself, that I could find no area of substantial
disagreement between my own religious beliefs and the general tenets of Islam.
While I was ready to acknowledge that Muhammad, peace be upon him, was a prophet of
(one who spoke for or under the inspiration of) God, and while I had absolutely no
difficulty affirming that there was no god besides God/Allah, glorified and exalted
is He, I was still hesitating to make any decision. I could readily admit to myself
that I had far more in common with Islamic beliefs as I then understood them, than I
did with the traditional Christianity of the organized church. I knew only too well
that I could easily confirm from my seminary training and education most of what the
Qur’an had to say about Christianity, the Bible, and Jesus, peace be upon him.
Nonetheless, I hesitated. Further, I rationalized my hesitation by maintaining to
myself that I really didn’t know the nitty-gritty details of Islam, and that my
areas of agreement were confined to general concepts. As such, I continued to read,
and then to re-read.
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